Week 3’s second tilt of the night saw the fifth-place Raptors taking on the cellar-dwelling Wolves with both teams looking to get their first win-in-regulation of the year. Both teams looked to back-up goalies to help give them a boost as the Wolves went with Taiwan’s arguably best‘tender Justin“Team-Leaders-are-Blind”Lewis and the Raptors fielded young Peter Ko (an early season surprise thus far). With Ko in the pipes, Taiwan Beer model Jeff“Slash”Cuvilier would have his chance to play a Kordell Stewart like role, suiting up on forward (and yet still sporting a neck guard) for a Raptors squad that has been hard-pressed to put pucks in the net at times. Cuvilier’s move, and the same by Lions’Mario Beaulac the previous week, has many fans and pundits alike wondering...“Are these guys paying dues for the whole season? Or just the games they play in net?”The evening also saw the return of the Bob Ford Salsa Gold Dancers Fan Club. Would the darling lasses sporting the not-so-subtle“BOB”sign be able to spur the inspiration to numerous points and significant play? Read below for answers.

Both teams came out TIMID and LIFELESS. Playing to not lose is for the Open Division (see photos for outstanding displays of softness at http://www.cihl.com.tw/album/NEW061119.htm! I like the one where the guy is checking the injured player’s pulse, what gallant sportsmanship!) but apparently nobody told the appropriately colored grey and black squads. The teams were able to provide some humor for the fans on hand with the game’s first goal. With 6:40 remaining in the first, Jeremy“The Thicker and Calmer”Campbell took a harmless-looking DUMP into the Raps zone, the puck hit a SHIfT in the boards, and found its way into the Raps goal after DRIBBLING OFF THE BACK OF KO’S LEG.. The crap goal was in no way the unsuspecting Ko’s fault, and referee Steve Clark gave him a hug. Two minutes later, John Deng was able to add to the Wolves lead on a play that saw great individual effort and sparked both teams to actually begin playing. Mal“I get hit in the face because that’s what I lead with”Turner was the first to take the cue and was able to get the Raptors on the board after stepping over the line, using D-man Joe“I wonder how far I can back in on Justin”Hodgeson as a screen (Assist - African MADDOG!).

The second period started (and by started, I mean halfway through, but there was nothing else happening) with a penalty to Tony“Lumber”Dendyufudendy for, well, laying the lumber. Mal was so mad he tried to fight the Wolves net. The Wolves showed some great PK work with some dangerous chances by Roger“This is my breakout game”Needham. It was during this Raps PP that Murray Richardson took the WIDEST shot ever seen, and that’s the only way he got into this write up. I think it bounced twice before settling harmlessly against the boards by the hash marks.

5:30 remaining in the period, penalty to Barcus Paivment for, shock, boarding, as in when is someone going to give this has-been a taste? Oh yeah, never mind, he used to play with Adrian Aucoin, so forget it.

The third period’s first goal came from Roger Needham whose game-long hard-work paid off when he went top-cheese on young Ko. Jeremy Campbell got the only assist on the goal, and, for the Wolves, of the evening. Pass the puck boys. Things started to get testy between Ross Kolton and Kevin Chang, but it was Mal“Tying goals are for suckers”Turner that got his name on the score sheet tallying with 5 minutes remaining. A nice deke to the forehand and the Raptors are still losing (A. Foreman). As time dwindled, John“Grr, I’ll fight ya”Long gets a mention for reminding Scott“Phuque this, I’m outta here (and understandably so)”Foreman that getting punched in the face sucks. Teams then exchanged real penalties, with Long going off for boarding and then Adrian Aucoin’s stick-taper going off for delay of game. Did I say delay of game? I meant boarding.

With the Raptors pulling their goalie, Wolves Roger Needham got his second of the game, ABSOLUTELY WIRING IT top-shelf into the open twine to seal the game. A magnificent show of the rookie’s power.

The game wasn’t as bad as I wrote it out to be, but the Bears lost last night, I got benched at the end of our game for chirping Mal“Can you believe I’m the head ref! Now I can talk ALL the time!”Turner, and I missed my shoot-out, so deal.

Three stars:

#1 Roger Needham 2G

#2 My brother, 1G (kind of) 1 A

#3 Mal Turner, no wait, MADDOG! RUFF RUFF, GRRR….MADDOG!

-although I think Mal should get a special mention for chirping players before they do their shoot-out attempts, but that was a different game, and he was reffing.

-Dave“Blueliner”Campbell