The morning of Sunday, December 3 rd marked the CIHL’s 11 th game of the season and the Sharks 3 rd game after adhering to a“no games in November”policy enacted by plantation owner Kevin Kennedy. The lack of games allowed the Greenies to complete their harvest and the hill-folk strolled into Taipei Arena looking confident, complete with betel nut drool and crummy blue plastic flip-flops. The Rhinos had a swagger of their own, but this was more likely a by-product of their previous evening’s activities and not due to their loss at hands of the Lions the week before.

As Kevin“Bossman”Kennedy’s limp Canadian college alt-rock droned through the arena, the red-headed grouch could be heard muttering to his teammates,“Let’s cheer”, but there was no cheer, even though it was Greg MacIntosh’s season debut.

Teams probed each other… for weaknesses, with the Sharks able to generate chances upon setting up in the offensive zone, and the Rhinos looking dangerous on the rush. Sharks were able to get on the board first, set up by Matt“Glorious”Stever whose intense concentration allowed him to ignore the two other players participating in the three on one. They were yelling quite loud and smacking their sticks on the ice, but Stever coolly put a shot on net. Tingley was unable to cover the rebound (yet had no complaints for the officials this week), and future-star Hubert Lee was able to pot it. The Sharks kept coming as the second period started with Steve“I can’t come”Mossing going over Tingle’s shoulder short side (A. Chris Robinson). The second period finished with the Sharks looking in control, the Rhinos looking lifeless, and Kennedy needing a penalty.

Mike O’Neill was able to get in to the game with a solid hooking call in the offensive zone. Super Shark Peter Wu capitalized on the ensuing power play with assists going to Stever and Robinson. Ever the team-player, O’Neill whined,“I’m not taking the blame for this one…”oblivious to his uninspired play. And the Sharks kept coming. At 15:16, Hubert scored his second of the evening after some good work by Stever to get the puck on net. Andrei Rashchenia got an assist on the goal, which made its way in to the twine yet again over Tinkle’s glove. Kennedy finally got a penalty for boarding a drunk (Drew Ross unavailable for comment) and then found his way into the sin bin again for hooking the ever-dangerous Rich Krahn. “These guys are the biggest fags in the world”Kennedy said to nobody, he then launched into a tirade involving diving, the Rhino’s team speedo collection, and the separatist leanings of the Rhino’s team leader. It was disgracefully hilarious. Tingley was laughing so hard that he gave a short-handed goal to Stever (high, glove side). Kennedy started giggling maniacally and then called Rich Krahn“Mark Tewksbury”. An official at the Civil Liberties Union said the group would be requesting an investigation, as well as for the practice of granting cheap ice-time to Taiwanese teams for tournaments and not inviting any foreign teams, who pay through the nose to show people that the arena can be used for things other than public skating

Final score, Sharks 5, Rhinos yuck,

Three stars

#1 Matt Stever

#2 Greg Macintosh

#3 Hubert Lee

Dave Campbell