The final match-up of the 5 th week in the CIHL schedule saw the cellar-dwelling Wolves looking to crawl out from the dank recesses of the points ladder, against the Tigers, who were looking to stay ahead of the Bears and claim top spot in the league (the Bears took top spot from the Lions in an 11-0 drubbing earlier in the evening. One fan was overheard saying at the time “This is a prison shower, it’s the Lions’ first day and they have nice skin”). Both teams went with alternate goalies, the Wolves hoping that Peter Ko would be able to back-stop them to a win, and the Tigers went with Justin “Smokey” Lewis, allowing regular goalie John Oz (mer) to try his hand at forward.

The move didn’t spark the Tigers skaters much and the kittens came out timid. Tommy “Coach” Sullivan twice on demonstrated the “giveaway” to all proteges on one shift, the second ending up in a Roger Needham breakaway, which fortunately for the Tigers, ended up sailing over an open cage. Kevin Yu was not impressed and answered back by UNDRESSING “Diamond” Joe Hodgeson and beating young Ko, Tigers are up 1-0 10 minutes in. Wolves Kevin Chang looked to answer back on a nice shot, but the goal was waived off after referees Mal “Tune-you” Turner and Steve “No-thanks” Clark conferred. This time it was Mal that knuckled-under and the Tigers remained ahead. The Wolves continued to put the squeeze on the groggy cats throughout the first (led by the determined work of John Long), but it was Kevin “Screw” Yu again who found the mark, stepping over the Wolves blue line and wiring a slapper past a shocked-looking Ko.

The second stanza started with a penalty to Wolf Roger “He-stepped-on-my- stick” Needham for hooking, which gave Mal the opportunity to chirp him for missing his breakaway (see above, re: Coach, re: giveaway). Although the Tigers Thundercat Jeff Millard and Lightening-puss Dan DeFinney were able to collectively hit the post on the PP, solid penalty killing by the Wolves kept further damage from occurring. 14 minutes into the period and the Wolves started to hunt. John Long bagged a meal scoring a short-handed goal after taking the time to decide that, “Yes, perhaps I will take this breakaway.”

The third period began and the Tigers were crumbling like Feelgood under MadPaas. Fans were treated to a display of Coach’s “Potato Gun” from the point but Ko was up to the challenge. The Coach then got to delicately instruct his wingers to “get on the F*&@#$ boards!” so that they might receive his outlet pass. I kept waiting for one of them to say “Don’t give it away at the F*&@#$ offensive zone blue line and maybe we’ll have time to get back…”, but no one did.

Teams exchange good rushes, TequilaCat blows a tire, and everyone starts placing bets on which teammate Coach or Kevin Yu would yell at next, heavy odds were on Brent “Weekend-at-Bernie’s” Huizinga for his Raschenia-esk understanding of the off-side rule. Wolves capitalized on the Tigers blaze, (sorry, should be blase), when Jong Long was able to tie the game after a good rush by Roger Needham (8 minutes in). Kevin Yu tried to answer back but found the iron instead, the Wolves then turned around and came back the other way. Roger “Whitaker” Needham banked one off a flopping Lewis to put the Wolves ahead with 8 minutes remaining. Oh my, TC just tried to take a pass with one hand and missed, oh well, it would have been a nice 3 on 1, maybe next time. “He’s skating like a lady” says League-Treasurer Bob Ford, the crowd sighed in agreement. Coach has seen enough. Tigers a call a timeout 16 minutes too late, and come out looking determined to give up another goal. No defense in sight when John Long tips a Jeremy “Scoots” Campbell shot to Whitaker who made no mistake on a committed Justin Lewis to seal the game. Just to make sure, TequilaCat then took a penalty (apparently for “being gay”, although I don’t recall that violation in the CIHL rule book, Kennedy? ACLU please contact Steve Clark). Hats off to the Wolves for a determined effort against a team that should perhaps consider laying off the Catnip-flavored tequila. Team Manager Clay Laughren declined to comment on rumors of the return of Leo Feng to replace Sullivan as the Tigers’ bench-boss/spiritual coordinator.

Further note:

Wolves’ 2 wins come with replacement goalies. Hodgeson considering best-buddy Lunman for Open Division. “Diamond” Joe’s decision to be contemplated while dining this week at Sababa and Citizen Cain’s.

Three Stars

#1 John Long

#2 Roger Needham

#3 Kevin Yu

#4 The wonderful staff at Chang Gung Memorial Hospital for re-attaching my Pretty.

-Lave Lampbell