When you have two teams facing off both with cat names (Lions vs. Tigers) what do you get? A whole lot of pussy. The teams combined for perhaps one of the most boring games in recent C.I.H.L history. The only noise to be heard in the crowd was the occasional screams of the Rhinos’ Mike O’Neil, “Hey, who stole my last doughnut?”

The teams combined for 17 icings and 4 shots on goal in the first period and not a whole lot else. Referee Mal “A-noma” Turner was seen wrestling the stick out of Ryan “Big Daddy” Haynes’ hand and screaming for a pass. Word has it he was still upset about not getting any rubber his way in the previous contest. Too bad he was unsuccessful or the Lions-Tigers game might have had some excitement.

The Lions did manage to get on the scoreboard first on a goal by_ JR Reid assisted from Adam Collardey .

The teams then traded another 6 shots total in the second period. If someone was smart enough they would sell video tape of this one and make a mint outselling Ny-Quil or any other sleeping disorder medicine. The Tigers did score a goal on one of their dozens of 2 on 1’s. (Rumor has it that the Lions forwards still don’t know they are allowed behind their own blue line). Dan Definney scored on an assist by Jeff Millard .

The third period continued to produce lackluster efforts on both sides save for a nice solo effort (his favorite kind on and off the ice) by Robin Ripley. He went end to end and tucked a shot behind the stunned John Osmar. Stunned because he finally had a shot on net.

The Tigers did answer back on a poor clearing attempt by the league’s most overrated player Mark “Retire Soon” Paas. The puck was knocked down by Steve Liu and sent in the goal by ThunderCat Millard .

So off to the shootout we go. First up was Paas for the Lions, who decided that a slapper from 5 feet out might do the trick. This is not a bad idea, but doesn’t matter if you shoot 200 MPH if you hit the goalie in the shoulder. Osmar went down like a Crawford Boy-Toy and league-tough- guy- wannabe Tommy “Spuds” Sullivan came out to confront Paas. What looked like may turn out into a nice little melee ended up in Sullivan asking Paas “How do you shoot so hard?”

Much like the game, the shootout produced more icings than shots. Goalies Mario Beautiful Lake and Osmar did stand out when needed and finally the Tigers Kevin “Chee-suh-ham-bao” Yu ended the misery after 9 shooters and the Tigers snored out with a 3-2 win.

Johnny Cat Kitty Litter Game Stars:

1. John Osmar

2. Mario Beautiful Lake

3. Bobby Ford (at least we noticed him)