The final game on Sunday saw the Bears continue to offensively bitch slap their opponents as they remained on top of the standings despite being pursued by the league’s best looking team, the Tigers. The victims of this week’s savage Bear attack were the basement dwelling Rhinos, who despite the return of their fearless leader the flying Frenchman, JP “I miss the yellow fever” Grimard, were not able to mount anything that even resembled an offensive attack.

The Bears, obviously inspired after watching the Tigers victory, continued to prove that they have the most powerful supply of offensive weapons outside the US military. This week the “shock and awe” campaign was provided by Bob “Big Red” Macleod who was scoring like it was last call at Vibe. Macleod opened the scoring about 3 minutes into the first and much like the feeling you get after a night at Vibe, he continued to burn the Rhinos all night long. Before the Rhinos had a chance to regroup, Macleod had found the back of the net for a second time and there was no stopping him after that. He completed the natural hat trick before the buzzer had sounded ending the first period. Rhinos goalie, Andrew “I’ve got free tickets to Wax” Tingley tried to inspire his team by making a spectacular sprawling save after a beautiful passing play between Mike Thornburn and Justin “Goldilocks” Menzies, but the support just wasn’t there.

The second period was mostly uneventful until Macleod buried his 4 th consecutive goal of the night, setting the new record for most goals in a game by someone with red hair. The highlight of the game also came in the second when Rich “Burnin” Krahn took out Bears’ superstar Dave “I’m a silly little schoolgirl” Campbell with a thunderous body check. Campbell vowed to get his revenge as a single tear rolled from his cheek to the ice. In a post-game interview, Campbell dead-panned, “Dick the Stick Krahn is a really good player…and I’m not the kind of guy to over-react. Really it’s about the team though and the boys played great tonight. Yes-siree, all about the team… oh, and revenge, it’s also about revenge, can’t forget the backbone of hockey, sweet revenge…” The tears didn’t last long though as “Goldilocks” Menzies put the final nail in the coffin firing a rocket past Tingley as the clock wound down in the third. The final score read as a 5-1 victory for the Bears as they made good on their New Year’s resolution to keep blowing teams out of the water and the Rhinos made good on their resolution to keep losing badly.

The games first star Bob Macleod finished with 4 goals in what will always be remembered as the most inspirational performance by a redhead since Terry Fox.

1 st star – “Big Red” Macleod

2 nd star – “Goldilocks” Menzies

3 rd star – Rich “I own Dave Campbell” Krahn

“Yes indeed, glorious revenge…” he was heard muttering while wandering Taipei’s darkened streets hours later…