The Sharks lost for the first time in the early game thanks to a couple of weak goals by Raptors’captain Mal Turner and a plethora of cheap shots by Raptor goon-tender and Shark traitor, Jeff Cuvilier. That combined with the fact that the Sharks have forgotten how to score was a recipe for disaster for the Chiayers. In their second game of the day, after a pleasant‘sho-shi’at the nearby Hondo, the Sharks met the Wolves who now are beginning to resemble the 2006 Lions or the 2005 Raptors, pulling it all together heading into the postseason.

Though behind the Sharks in the standings, the Wolves employed a determined defensive style, keeping the Sharks’high powered offence on the outskirts of the offensive zone and only allowing fringe shots to get through to their goalie Andrew Lunman, who was beaten for ten goals the last time these two teams met. The best offensive chance of the period was when Steve Mossing fired a nice wrister that caromed of the iron and into the corner.

The second period began with the CIHL’s version of Adam Oates and Brett Hull, Matt Stever and Ronan Wilson, connecting for the games opening marker. But the Sharks lead was short-lived due to their chronic bouts with‘Scrambilitis’which allowed the Wolves to bang in a garbage goal at 6:45 of the second frame. The score remained dead-locked for the next six minutes until Sharks defenseman Howard Wu chipped a nice pass to Matt Stever who backhanded the rubber disc over a sprawling Lunman. Sharks up 2-1.

I should’ve known that this was going to be a weird period as I looked down the ice and caught a glimpse of referee Steve “Wesley Stripes”Clark sitting on the boards trying to avoid the puck like he’d just read the 1982 referee handbook. What was interesting was that he was also handing out a full‘two-cheek quarter slot plumber’to the disgusted crowd of about 100 people, mostly women and children. Surprisingly I was able to regain my focus and sniped a goal at 6:28 of the third to put the good guys up by two.

‘The Plumber’triggered a chain reaction of events; the first being a panic attack suffered by Lynn, head of CIHL Public Relations, and the second and most consequential was the immediate hiring of a guy named Poon in an obvious spin tactic by savvy media spinster Geoff LeCren to take the Clark ass crack off the front page of the CIHL Times.

As fans poured out of the arena demanding a refund, the Sharks began to collapse. It all started with a rather weak interference call on star Shark d-man Steve Mossing. Shortly after, another Shark d-man Howard Wu was called for a hold giving the Wolves a five-on-three power play. When Clark skated passed the penalty box Mossing said“if you’re gonna show your crack, you might as well just drop the whole moon”. Mossing was dinged for a ten-minute misconduct and Clark was asked to drop out of his weekly sensitivity classes.

In the manner of minutes the Sharks lost one of their best players, were still down two men, and were visibly rattled. The Wolves scored quickly on a garbage goal by John Long and tied it up a minute later on a similar goal. The Sharks had a chance to reclaim the game after Lumber was charged with an obvious even-up penalty with under two minutes left, but the Sharks couldn’t convert and the game went into the shootout.

As usual the Sharks were brutal in the shootout not scoring a goal while Roger Needham, who thinks he’s Marek Malik put in a nice goal on a beauty dangle that got goalie MacIntosh all crossed up. Congrats to the Wolves for coming out with the victory.

Molson Cup Three Stars